7.07.04- Q & Q (question and question):

   Q: "Can you cut a flattop?"
   Q: "Can you make a sneaker stink?"

   Q: "Can you cut my hair short without going too short?"
   Q: "Can you overflow a toilet?"

   Q: "Can you make me look good? I have a wedding to go to."
   Q: "Considering the fact that you will be a spectator at a wedding of two other individuals, with a hundred or so other spectators present, most of them being drunk, do you really think anyone is going to care what you look like when they have the bride and groom to look at?"

7.13.04- After coming in this morning and getting all the old-timers done that were appropriately waiting outside with the birds, the realization suddenly occured that the bird feeder was missing.
   Having been hanging outside since late December, it's very strange that the bird feeder disappeared almost seven months after it was originally hung outside. It vanished not even one week after Ms. Happy complained about the notorious bird feces on 7.08.04. I'm sure the perpetually clueless Ms. Happy is as clueless as ever to it's whereabouts.
   Not missing a beat, the feeder was replaced twenty minutes later. Whoever stole it doesn't realize that they actually made life a little easier around here. The other bird feeder would leak, allowing water inside of it every time it would rain. The bird seed would solidify like a brick inside the feeder. It would take fifteen minutes to break up the bird seed and replace it, wasting much of the birds' prized bird seed.
   Now, instead of a two tiered feeder with three holes per tier, the birds have a three tiered feeder with four holes per tier, doubling the amount of birds allowed to eat at any given time. The best part is that this one is waterproof. The fecal problem has now doubled, as well.

   The experience at the pet store was just as exciting as last time on 7.03.04. Chatty was there again. She announced that her drawer wasn't unlocked yet and that I could go to the other register.
   At the other register was a quite large and important looking fellow of some kind of managerial magnitude that I'll call Mr. Bob. Mr. Bob announced that he'd be a while because his first customer of the day gave him a hundred dollar bill and that he had to wait for change from the Customer Service Manager. Offering him change of a hundred, he stated that he couldn't take change from me. He then told me that there was another register with nobody on it and pointed back to the ever vociferous Chatty.
   Wandering cautiously back to Chatty, wondering how her drawer miraculously got unlocked, I notified her that Mr. Bob directed me back to her.
   Dodging my words, Chatty brightly greeted me with a big smile and her own words, "Good morning sir! How is your day going?". "Quite splendid, actually. I'll be better after having a spot of tea."

   I had the great satisfation of bringing my neighbor Ms. Happy her mail that was accidentally left at my shop. It was from the state taxation office.
   Entering Ms. Happy's shop like I belonged on a S.W.A.T. team, I announced that I had very important mail for the blonde brood (they all seem to be blonde over there) from the state taxation office and that it was a good thing that it fell into honest hands. The silence was cut by the frozen stares I received. I walked out as fast as I entered, whistling some meaningless, unknown, happy sounding tune, obviously undaunted by the days events so far.

7.13.04- The For Sale sign from 6.17.04 has been removed. I don't know whether to gloat or be worried.

7.14.04- Sometimes people come in with a morbid fear that you're not going to finish their haircut. It probably goes back to their childhood.
   Today, a man asked if I was going to cut the sides of his hair. I guess he was worried that I was going to forget. His glassy eyes suggested that he may have been on some kind of dope and that he may have been suffering from some kind of mental time warp. In other words, three minutes in the chair may have seemed like forty five minutes to him. I wanted to ask him if he had a problem with looking like Bozo, but I didn't. Thanking him for reminding me to finish what I started didn't seem like a good idea either. He was mumbling something about an imminent race war and Charlie Daniels running for the presidency, so I kept quiet.

   [later on] Another man came in, saying that he wanted his hair cut short, "but not too short!", a "square back", "tapered down", "feathered" with "layers" and "shingled" on the sides.
   Seeing that I was dealing with someone that knew a great deal more about this business than the average person, I asked him if he wanted his eyebrows squared or rounded. He said, "Huh?!"

7.14.04- It's always fun when it's an hour past the time closed and there are three signs in the window that all say "CLOSED" in huge letters, with most of the lights turned off and a shade pulled down, that someone who feels they are beyond rules will still show up, tapping on the tinted glass with a key, mouthing the words "Your closed?" through the window, obviously in dire need of a haircut.
   I'd like to open the place, sit them in the chair, put the hair cloth on them and then stamp their heads with a rubber stamp that says "CHALLENGED" on it, remove the hair cloth and tell them that it's on the house.

7.15.04- A man displaying unusual behavior was just in. He didn't want to leave his wallet on the window sill for fear that someone would break the window and steal his wallet. Then, without removing his hat, he got in the chair. He mumbled something about not wanting me to see what he did.
   After putting the hair cloth on him, I asked the gentleman if he was ready to remove his hat. He said again that he was afraid to show me what he did.
   Taking control of the situation, I removed the hat. The gentleman had shaved his head.
   After getting past the hat ordeal, this idiosyncratic gentleman wanted my professional opinion as to if he should keep shaving his head.
   Not wanting to cause irreversible psychological damage because of the strange lumps and dents all over his head, I told the gentleman that by shaving his head, it strategically covered the fact that he was losing his hair. He agreed.
   After several moments of indecisiveness that could have been easily interpreted as confusion, the gentleman announced that he wanted to let his hair grow out. The reason given was that he "missed" his hair.
   Realizing that the challenges this man has to face obviously run much deeper than what can be seen on the surface of his head, I removed the hair cloth and told the gentleman that there would be no charge for the consultation this time.

7.16.04- Not much happened today. A man and his son came in and only the son was getting his haircut. The son took several moments explaining what he wanted and seemed to be able to describe it in a fairly simple way. Simple, right? Wrong.
   Getting the haircut underway, the father began asking the son if he knew what he wanted. This caused the son to begin explaining what he wanted all over again, which was really quite unnecessary and annoying.
   After the son was done explaining what he wanted to the father, the father now asked if I understood what the son wanted. Meanwhile, the haircut was already halfway done.
   This sort of thing happens all the time.

7.17.04- Two things that you can always rely on is someone waiting for you to open on a Saturday, and someone else showing up after you close on a Saturday. Today was no different than any other Saturday.
   While trying to get the key in the door fifteen minutes before the scheduled time to open, someone was right there offering to help. Thanking him and quickly locking him outside, he was understandably bewildered. The sad thing is that the same people do the same thing over and over again. As bewildered as they are, they never seem to catch on that setting up shop first thing in the morning is a personal matter. It requires full attention and can't be done with people wandering around the shop asking questions, pretending like they have a personal interest in you.
   The first thing this man asked is if I've seen Art. I didn't even know who this man was in the shop, let alone know who Art is. So I told him that I didn't know who he was talking about.
   I guess this answer I gave wasn't good enough for the man because he next offered up a last name. Not helping me any, I stuck to my original statement, "I don't know who you mean". Of course, now I had to listen to how much Art likes me, and how much Art loves the way I cut his hair, blah blah blah... so I said, "Oh! Art! How is he? Is he still constipated?"

   After dropping a three gallon bucket of water on the floor at lunch time while changing the water in the fish tank, I broke the mop trying to clean it up. Of course, there were people outside tapping on the window, seeing if I'd give up my hard earned, meager lunch time to cut their overgrown heads of hair.
   Realizing a long time ago that people are only urgent about getting their hair cut when they're about three months overdue, I've learned to ignore them when they tap on the glass during lunch. The reason there are malls are for the people that procrastinate and need something right away that should've been gotten three months ago. Regular customers know what time I take lunch. Thank goodness for regular customers. I'd have to take on the troublemakers as clients if it weren't for them.

   The day ended in an equally turbulent way. The man that was in with the kid from yesterday showed up after I already closed. This time it was for himself. He voiced complete surprise that I close so early on Saturdays, second time in a row. I realize that he must be challenged, because he thinks I can't remember the last time he was in and he pulled the same thing. That time was also on a Saturday.
   Today, this guy started out by banging on the window, and wouldn't stop either. He mouthed "You're closed?!" to me through the glass. I mouthed, "I'm closed" back at him. He still kept mouthing something that I'd imagine was the same gibberish that he came in babbling about when I finally opened the door. It's a good thing I'm a patient person (a person that works with mental patients) or he would've been going to the mall for a haircut this weekend. It took about four and a half minutes to cut through the seven layers of gel and four layers of hairspray to get that mop of two tone hair (thanks to the hair coloring) cut and he was in his car, driving away.
   If I never see that guy and his kid again, I don't care. There's more to life than money. The thing I learned about weeds is that if you remove two, two more replace them and they bring two friends.

   This may be news to some people, but not all mental patients are locked up. There are many wandering around, roaming the streets here and there. Some of them even drive. It's a known fact that they eventually get their haircut too.

7.18.04- [Flashback] One time, this man I never saw before walked in, went right past the first work station I was in and walked over to the second work station where my former co-worker that I'll call Dagan had her tools set up. Dagan had to leave somewhere in a hurry, earlier that day. I think she said her kid fell out of a tree or lost his sneaker or something, so she had to rush home.
   The man was completely out of site from where I was working, monkeying around over by Dagan's tools. So, I spun the person in my chair around and walked on the other side to watch the man in the mirrors. He was playing with his hair.
   I stopped what I was doing and asked the man if he could have a seat. He fired back, "What if I want to stand?!" I told him that he could stand in the waiting area with the other people because customers are not allowed in an unsupervised work area where the tools are set up.
   The man became offended and accused me of calling him a thief. He said, "You just called me a thief!" I told him that I didn't call him a thief. He said, "You did! You just called me a thief!"
   Realizing that the customer is always right and that arguing with the man was only going to make matters worse, I agreed with him. "You're right. You are a thief. Get out, and watch the door on the way. No thieves are allowed here."
   I found out several weeks later that the guy was a principal in some nearby school, because his picture was in the paper for being involved in some kind of scandal within the school district's administration. It figures, because I guess he thought he was going to educate me about proper business etiquette and civil liberties and stuff. What he got was an education of his own.
   I never was a big fan of any kind of administration anyway. I'm glad I threw that guy out. Everyone that's ever had a problem with a principal should be happy I threw him out too.

7.19.04- I was bored today, so I worked on a song called Tangerine. Playing music can really bring things back into the right perspective. If everyone played some kind of music, life would be one big concert.

7.20.04- Everyday, right when the last person is getting finished, someone else walks in and says, "Perfect timing!". Not a day goes by without this occuring. This is really annoying, especially if you had planned on sitting down for five minutes.
   Today marks the inauguration of 'eggtimer haircuts". This is when someone walks in and says, 'Perfect timing!", triggering an eggtimer to be turned over, allowing three minutes for the completion of the haircut. This is a fun way to play "beat the eggtimer" while working.