6.19.04- By now, there was another early bird (I use the term loosely) that I'll call "bird", waiting to be next. As the mental dude was leaving, the bird, with a very serious look in his eye, informed me that the mental dude pooped himself. Naturally, he pooped the chair too. Great! What a wonderful way to start out a Saturday! Why do mental patients have to get their haircut on Saturday? Couldn't he wander in on, let's say, a Thursday at, let's say, 10:23am? Nope. It has to be right at 9:00am on Saturday. Well, after using Clorox and Lysol with rubber gloves, I think the bird felt somewhat safe sitting in the chair. He then told me that he noticed the mental dude's pants as he was getting out of the chair. I praised the bird on his remarkable observation, secretly wondering why he was looking at the mental dude's butt. Oh well, nevermind. It's really not important. What's important is the lesson I learned that day. Never sit a customer in the chair, place a cape over him, carefully tuck a towel around his neck and then tell him that you had a mental patient that was in earlier poop in the chair he's sitting in.

6.20.04- [flashback] Why do people ask you when you're going to have kids? Aside from it being none of their business, don't they consider the fact that I'm not even married?

6.21.04- Something very scary happened this morning. While out at a diner having breakfast, I couldn't help overhearing two elderly ladies having a quiet conversation. The first lady that I'll call Agnes was speaking to the second lady that I'll call Greta. To the best of my recollection, here's how the conversation went:

Agnes: "Do you remember those two horses I told you about? You know, the ones that I feed grass to?"
Greta: "Yes. I remember them."
Agnes: [in a low murmur] "They know what I'm saying to them."
Greta: [whipering loudly in what seemed to be a state of shock] "They do?! Really?!"
Agnes: [matter of factly] "Yes. I can tell by the way they look at me."
Greta: [in complete amazement] "Oh my!"

   Now, the fact that Agnes believes that these horses know what she's saying to them isn't what I find scary. We are all entitled to our various beliefs. While some believe in fairies and pixies and such, others do not. That's fine.
   The fact that Greta was completely captivated with the idea of horses knowing what Agnes says to them isn't really scary either. Again, we're all entitled to believe anything that we want and have all sorts of opinions. This is one thing about life on earth that I find so interesting.
   What really scares me to death is the fact that one of these two, if not both, drove in a motorized vehicle to this diner where this conversation was overheard. The thought of this is so frightening that I'm seriously contemplating never leaving home again.
   I should add that these two appeared very VERY annoyed when my cell phone began ringing during their conversation.

6.21.04- I've concluded that the only logical explanation for the old lady believing the horse understands what she says is that she must be watching Mr. Ed reruns on Nick at Nite back at the nursing home. That combined with the medication she's undoubtedly taking has more than likely caused this sort of thinking.

6.22.04- The morning back to work was basically uneventful except for one occurrence worth noting. A gray haired man that looked like Moe from The Three Stooges declared that he wished he had a gun for "all the [expletive] Iraqis that are in this country!" He made wild gestures claiming "They're all around us!"

6.22.04- This is so cool! If you stare at the nose of this image of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi for twenty seconds and then stare to the right of it, you can see that he's really an alien!

6.23.04- As some of you may already know, I'm a barber. I'm not a doctor or a magician. There are some things that just aren't humanly possible for barbers to do. I seriously wonder what people actually think of us?

For instance, today a man that looked like this